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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382688">out of my element</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylonly/pseuds/reylonly'>reylonly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(until finally), Alternate Universe - College/University, College Student Ben Solo, College Student Rey (Star Wars), Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Idiots in Love, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Major Eye Contact, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, more like no communication</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:55:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylonly/pseuds/reylonly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>But don’t get her wrong, Rey’s problem is not with atomic theory. She does not have a specific aggression towards chemical nomenclature or stoichiometry. (Nor does she have a particular fondness. Much more of a general apathy.) <i>No.</i> </p>
<p>Rey’s problem is with the boy who always sits directly across from her. </p>
<p>Ben Solo.</p>
<p>Because, seemingly, for no reason that Rey can even attempt to fathom, Ben Solo absolutely despises her.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Rey has a hopeless crush on the dreamy boy who sits across from her in chemistry class. It’s too bad he hates her guts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>426</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>out of my element</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediBen/gifts">JediBen</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey has a problem. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the grand scheme of things, it is not a big problem. Her life is actually pretty great at the moment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s officially moved out of Plutt’s house, so she’ll never have to see her disgrace of a foster father ever again. She’s recently discovered how delicious salted caramel cold foam tastes on top of her regular plain cold brew, so she’s never going back to life without it. And, on top of all of that, she’s only a year away from graduating college. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Life should be grand. Stupendous. And most of the time, it is. There’s just one thing holding her back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chemistry class. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>General Chemistry II, to be exact. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should’ve taken it second semester of freshman year, but time got away from her. Now she’s stuck listening to her boring professor drone on for 50 minutes three times a week. But don’t get her wrong, Rey’s problem is not with atomic theory. She does not have a specific aggression towards chemical nomenclature or stoichiometry. (Nor does she have a particular fondness. Much more of a general apathy.) <em> No. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s problem is with the boy who always sits directly across from her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben Solo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because, seemingly, for no reason that Rey can even attempt to fathom, Ben Solo absolutely despises her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He shows this through blood curdling stares that highlight just how much she disgusts him. The bit of skin between his eyebrows creases when he sees her. His nostrils flare. She swears his eyes even twitch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t know what his problem is. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every time she raises her hand, he raises his own a little bit higher. Taunting her. Letting her know that he’s sure she doesn’t have the right answer. Rey even swears she heard him laugh when she answered a question wrong the other day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. Ben is an asshole. End of story. She should just hate him and move on with her life. Except….</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t hate him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite all of her better judgement, Rey finds herself <em> attracted </em> to him. Hence the dilemma. Rey is attracted to someone that hates her guts. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can’t help it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s the only other upperclassman in the class. He’s devastatingly handsome, with hair so long and luscious she often spends hours fantasizing about running her fingers through it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His lips. They’re so plump and perfect. She just wants to feel them against her own. Is desperate to, in fact. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But alas. It wasn’t meant to be. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now, as she shakes herself out of her regularly scheduled Ben Solo daydream session, Rey takes a sip from her watered-down cold brew and attempts to listen to her professor wrap up his lecture. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t forget, we have a test on all of this two weeks from today. I’d advise meeting up with some of your classmates for a little study session before then. It’s a fun way to make sure you get all the material down. Maybe do a couple practice tests together, who knows. Alright. Class dismissed.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The class starts to dissolve. Rey packs up her belongings before flinging her backpack over her shoulders. She’s headed for the door when someone clears their throat. She stops, turns. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben Solo is standing right behind her. Rather close, in fact. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey shifts her feet, working through all of her competing emotions. Ben has never come up and tried to talk to her like this before. It is a bit overwhelming. Currently, he’s just staring at her all menacingly. This is as per usual. She wants to ask if there’s something on her face, when finally he speaks up.</p>
<p>   </p>
<p>“You should probably study.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The test on chemical kinetics. You should study for it. I think that would be a good thing for you to do.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you—” she squeezes her cup of cold brew a little tighter. “Are you insinuating that I don’t normally study?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s eyes widen. He clears his throat again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I, uh…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I’ll have you know that there hasn’t been a single test in this class—or in <em> any </em> class for that matter—that I haven’t studied for. I am a good student, Ben Solo, and I work really hard for my grades.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right,” he eventually manages. “I figured.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey narrows her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So what are you saying, then? Are you just insinuating that you think I’m dumb?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben has the gall to overreact to this. He shakes his head and waves his arms frantically, sort of like he’s lost control of them, and ends up wacking the cold brew right out of Rey’s left hand and onto the floor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The half-full cup of coffee splashes as it falls, getting all over both of their clothes and soaking Ben’s shoes. “Fuck,” Ben curses, talking over Rey as she mutters, “That drink only cost me six dollars. But okay.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey sighs, bending down to pick up the now empty cup as Ben just stands there. He’s frozen. He might not even be breathing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks a lot,” she says under her breath.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He swallows. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to....” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Save it.” She throws the empty cup in the garbage and tugs on the straps of her backpack nervously. “I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave me alone from now on.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn’t mean it. She regrets it the second the words leave her mouth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Rey knows that Ben hates her, so there’s no point in telling him how much she fantasizes about kissing him, about holding him, about <em> fucking </em> him. Instead, she just turns and walks away, leaving Ben alone in the classroom and wondering if her degree is really worth the torture of seeing the one man she wants but can never have three times a week.                  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey considered skipping chem today. She really did. Her current outfit is perfect evidence of this. She laid awake in bed until the very last moment, debating whether or not she could stomach enough courage to face Ben, until ultimately she decided she was being silly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her education is far more important than some boy. And, <em> okay</em>, maybe she really wants to do well on the upcoming test just to stick it to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She enters the classroom just in time, scurrying over to her regular seat, when she sees it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s a large cold brew with a generous amount of cold foam situated in the center of her desk. She blinks as she approaches, noticing a sticky note resting on top of the lid. A sentence is written in gorgeous cursive handwriting. It reads: </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> You’re the smartest person I’ve ever known.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey blushes, picking up the sticky note and reading it over and over. It can’t be. Did Ben...? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looks up at the other side of the room, but he’s nowhere to be seen. His regular seat is empty. Huh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey looks back down at the sticky note and smiles softly, folding it into a tiny square before sticking it in one of her jean pockets. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe Ben doesn’t hate her after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On Friday, Rey gets to class extra early. The room is empty when she arrives, lights off with the door closed. But even still she finds a large cold brew in the center of her desk. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s another sticky note attached, with a short sentence written in the same, beautiful penmanship as the first. It reads:      </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> You drive me crazy.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey stills. What does that mean? She hums, tracing the words with her fingers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She waits, and waits, and <em> waits </em> for Ben to show himself, but he never comes to class.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Time for a new strategy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Next Monday, Rey wakes up extra early and stakes out a spot at the campus coffee shop. She waits in the very back, hidden behind a ballcap and oversized sweatshirt. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s about 8 a.m. when Ben walks in. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He goes straight to the cash register and orders Rey’s drink, getting nothing for himself. The barista has the cold brew ready in seconds, and then Ben’s out the door. Rey hustles after him, keeping her distance as she follows him across campus. </p>
<p>  </p>
<p>Ben hesitates outside the science building and sits down on an empty bench. Rey slows down and jerks behind a nearby tree, peeking her head out to watch him. Sure enough, he pulls a pad of sticky notes out of his pocket and begins to write a short note. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey smiles. She also has a note of her own today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She takes a deep breath before sneaking behind Ben and sprinting up the stairs and into the science building. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The hallway is completely empty as Rey races through it. She makes it to the chemistry classroom in no time at all, out of breath as she walks over to her own desk. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey hesitates. It was one thing to think up this plan, and another thing altogether to actually go through with it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh, what the hell. Rey unzips her backpack and pulls out the note she wrote for Ben. Granted, it’s not much of anything at all. Just a few sentences written in her own shitty handwriting. Still. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She reads it over a couple times, testing the words on her own tongue. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> I do not get you.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But...I would like to. Come to class today. Please. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she can change her mind, Rey leaves the note on her desk and bolts out of the classroom. Her heart thumps erratically in her chest as she hides in the bathroom across the hall. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now all she has to do is wait.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Time passes slowly. She aggressively applies her mango flavored lip balm and prays to the universe that her vulnerability won’t end up biting her in the ass.   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple minutes before class starts, Rey finally exits the bathroom and crosses over to the chemistry classroom. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door is propped open. She closes her eyes as she crosses the threshold, not ready to be disappointed. He wasn’t in class the past two times, it’s likely he won’t be here today either.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey eventually has to open her eyes. And when she does, she sees him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s seated in his regular spot right across the room from her. Rey’s jittery, legs like jelly as she walks over to her own desk. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The note she left for him is gone. In its place is a large cold brew, this time with two sticky notes on the lid.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first one reads, <em> Please forgive me.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The second, more hastily-written note simply says, <em> Anything for you.   </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t know what to do. She can feel the blush rise on her cheeks, can feel the way Ben is staring at her from across the room. First, she takes a sip of her cold brew. It’s delicious. Not watered-down at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then she re-reads her notes, before folding them both into tiny squares and hiding them in her pocket for safe keeping. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally, Rey looks up to meet Ben’s gaze. The way he is looking at her….she would not describe it as different. It is still intense. There is still a crease between his eyebrows, and she definitely sees his nostrils flare. An eye twitch. But maybe...maybe this is just how Ben looks when he is paying attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe, it could be possible, that this is just how Ben looks when he cares about something. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe Rey has just never had someone care about her before. Actually, she’s sure she hasn’t. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She bites her lip and holds his steady gaze, bringing her hand up to rest against her cheek as she leans into her desk. And then class begins. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At least, she thinks it does. Mostly Rey just watches Ben. But she can still hear her professor talking even if she pays him no attention. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All Rey knows is Ben’s eyes never leave her own, and it has her feeling some type of way. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Class ends eventually, and Rey slowly gets up to stand next to her desk as her fellow classmates vacate the room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me try this again,” Ben says, clearing his throat as he crosses over to her. “We have a test next Monday.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey blinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. Uh. Yeah. We do.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s closer than he’s ever been. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would you like to study for it with me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whatever Rey was expecting, it wasn’t this. <em> Of course. </em> Ben said she was the smartest person he’s ever known, that she drives him crazy. He isn’t interested in her. He just wants someone to tutor him. Rey sighs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. Okay. Sure, I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben deflates a little at her words. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is something wrong?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, Ben. Many things are wrong. But Rey just shakes her head no, attempting to cover up all of her disappointment. “Should we meet in the library? Or maybe at a coffee shop or something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looks down at his feet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I, uh. I was thinking we could meet in my dorm room, actually.” He looks back up at her, so pointedly. “Is that...something you would want?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s looking at her funny, eyes wide and desperate. Rey doesn’t quite understand why. She just nods, embarrassed to have thought he actually liked her the way she likes him.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure. I’ll print out the practice exams and we can meet up later. Oh, you have to tell me where your dorm is.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could—I could text you the room number if that’s okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben pulls out his phone and she quickly puts her number in it. He’s smiling, which in and of itself should be a goddamn revelation, but Rey can’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. She actually thought that Ben might be into her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now she knows that all he really wanted was some help understanding chemical kinetics. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s sort of like a punch to the gut. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well,” Rey says, shrugging on her backpack and refusing to meet his eyes, “I guess I’ll see you later.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t wait,” Ben intones. “It’s a date.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey just shrugs, picks up her cold brew, and leaves him alone in the classroom. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can’t wait for this whole thing to just be over. After their study session she’ll resort to ignoring him. It’ll hurt for sure. But it’ll also make it easier in the long run. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No sense pining after someone who will never feel the same way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s just starting to get dark outside when Rey heads over to Ben’s dorm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She walks down the sidewalk and crosses over to the residence hall he lives in. It’s by far the nicest one on campus. Ben texted her his room number earlier, making sure to specify that his dorm is a single. He sent the message with a winky face, assuring her that they wouldn’t be bothered tonight.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s been sending her really weird messages like this all day long. <em> I can’t wait to see you, </em> he sent a couple hours after class. <em> You don’t know how long I’ve dreamt of this</em>, he sent while she was applying mascara just a few minutes ago. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t know what to make of his texts. He’s obviously super excited to finally understand the material and pull his chem grade up. </p>
<p>Or maybe he’s just making fun of her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey sent a simple thumbs up emoji in response to all of his messages. What else could she say? <em> Hi Ben. I’m secretly in love with you and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to study tonight without confessing it. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah, no way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She trudges up the stairs until she makes it to the third floor. Rey takes a deep breath, steadying herself as she approaches his door. Here goes nothing. She knocks three times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben opens the door a second later. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi Rey,” he smiles wide, showing off all his dimples. “Wow. You look amazing.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She blushes. Fine, maybe she did change into cuter clothes. Nothing crazy. Just her favorite skinny jeans and a flowy pink blouse. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh. Thanks.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s actually Ben who looks amazing. He must have showered, because his hair is a bit damp. He’s wearing a collared button up shirt with nice pants and a belt. It also smells like he doused himself in cologne.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben ushers her inside his dorm room, helping her take her backpack off her shoulders before shutting and locking the door behind her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Make yourself at home.” Rey looks around at his immaculately clean room and just knows he would have a conniption if he ever saw how messy her own is. The lights seem to be dimmed, and there’s a vanilla candle burning on his bedside table. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey settles down at Ben’s desk and starts getting things out of her backpack. She’s pulling out her textbook and pencil case when Ben clears his throat.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I took the liberty of ordering us some pizza. It’ll be delivered in about an hour or so.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey pauses. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh. That’s nice of you. But I only really like—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pineapple pizza,” Ben interrupts. “I remember. It was one of your three fun facts on the first day of class.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s speechless. She attempts to form some semblance of a proper response.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right. Yes. Wow, thank you Ben.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben smiles, settling down on his bed as he watches her pull the practice tests out of her backpack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anything for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey drops the practice tests, blushing from her head to her toes. God. That’s what he wrote on his note earlier today.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um, do you think we should get started?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben lights up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Great. Do you have another chair so we can both sit at the desk?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben purses his lips for a second before he pats the spot next to him on the bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was thinking you could come up here and join me.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey didn’t know it was possible to blush this much. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She slides off her shoes before getting up and joining Ben on his bed, trying not to think too hard about the fact that she’s <em> sitting on Ben Solo’s bed. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben shifts his entire body to face her own, and Rey simply stares down at the practice test in her hand. She tucks some hair behind her ears before she clears her throat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right. Okay. Let’s start with one of the harder questions.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She begins to read a problem aloud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The first-order decomposition of cyclopropane has a rate constant of 6.7 x 10-4 s-1. If the initial concentration of cyclopropane is 1.33 M, what is the concentration of cyclopropane after 644s?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She picks up her calculator, ready to start solving. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, the first thing you’ll notice is that this is a first order reaction. You’re given the time in s to the negative first power, and the concentration M. This indicates that you’ll have to use the integrated rate law, because—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey is cut off by Ben’s lips crashing against her own. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Time stops.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He is kissing her. <em> Ben Solo is kissing her. </em>Well, he’s trying to at least. Rey is in shock, frozen completely still. Not reciprocating although she desperately wants to. She doesn’t know what’s happening. Can’t seem to process it.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a minute or so Ben pulls away, leaning his forehead against her own as he collects himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everything okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey just blinks, trying to form words rather unsuccessfully.   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You kissed me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey blinks some more, pulls away.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But...you hate me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stares at her, and stares at her, and <em> stares at her</em>, before he takes a deep ragged breath. “What did you just say?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey sets the practice test and her calculator down on the bed, moves to cross her legs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mean, you’ve made it pretty obvious.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben runs a hand through his hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You think…” He stutters, seemingly unable to get the sentence out of his mouth. “You think that I hate you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey just shrugs. Ben takes a deep breath.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why do you think I invited you over tonight, Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She points to the practice test rather weakly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You wanted me to help you study. You think I’m smart. That’s it. That’s...that’s all you think of me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben swallows. Slowly, he reaches for her hands, taking them in his own. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I do think you are smart.” He circles his thumbs against her hands soothingly. “But that is not all I think of you. Rey. I think about you...probably more than I think about anything else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey gives a sharp intake of breath. Ben continues. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I invited you over for a study date. Emphasis on date. I was hoping we’d ditch the study part altogether, actually.” He blinks, looks over at his window. “I figured you….I mean, the note you left….”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s gobsmacked. “You like me? As in, more than a potential tutor sort of like? Like, a like-like sort of like?”   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looks wounded. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey...I have wanted to ask you out for years now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That doesn’t…” Rey blinks back tears of disbelief. “That doesn’t make any sense. We just started this class a couple months ago. If this is a joke, Ben, it’s not funny.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben gives a sad chuckle. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A little part of me always knew you didn’t remember. I just didn’t want to accept it.” He squeezes her hands a little tighter. “We had a class together. Before, I mean. It was a huge lecture. Philosophy 101.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey twists her face up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I remember that class. I didn’t have any friends in it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben winces.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You sat next to me every day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s eyes widen. Another tear falls, unbidden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We had the class twice a week. You would always come in five minutes late on Wednesdays. I figured you were rushing from another class or something. I would…” He takes a breath. “I would put my backpack on your seat to make sure nobody would sit there. I would save it for you. And then, when I would hear the sound of you opening the heavy doors, I would quickly move the backpack away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben smiles ruefully. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe it was stupid. We never even talked. Not once. But I liked sitting next to you. I liked hearing your laugh. I didn’t want to even chance it. I didn’t want you to sit anywhere else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I…” She wipes her tears away. “I had no idea.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Back then you drank your cold brew plain.” He smiles. “The foam is a recent development.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey chokes on a laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The thing is, Rey, I have wanted to get to know you for years. Maybe what you thought was hate was just….” He sighs, embarrassed. “Me trying to get your attention?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s Ben’s turn to wipe Rey’s tears away, now. His palm moves to nestle her cheek comfortingly. “I was just so scared before. And that doesn’t mean I’m any less scared now, <em>actually,</em> I’m terrified. But I don’t think I can go another day without you, and I hope that you decide to give me a chance. I guess I probably don’t deserve one.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is silent for a few moments as Rey processes everything she’s just learned. After a while, she begins to laugh and shake her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here I am thinking that I had this hugely irrational major crush on a guy that hated my guts.” She dares to reach out and run her fingers through his hair, to cup his face in her hands. “When in actuality, he wants to fuck my brains out.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s eyes pop out of his head. Rey can hear how loud he’s thinking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait. Hold on. So, does that mean that you—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey doesn’t let him finish. Instead, she plants a kiss right onto those perfect lips of his. Ben reciprocates instantly, and sooner rather than later they’re both shedding their clothes and climbing under his sheets together. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t believe I’m kissing you right now,” Ben whispers against her lips, awestruck.         </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re about to be doing a lot more than that.” </p>
<p>        </p>
<p>Ben groans, bringing his hands down to cup her breasts worshipfully. He squeezes a little bit, but mostly he just holds them. His palms are so warm, scalding hot against her bare skin. “So, does this mean that you like me too?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey rolls her eyes as she kisses his shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes Ben. This does mean that I like you too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiles, squeezing her breasts again.    </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Look at your cute little boobies,” he whispers, softly tracing little circles over her nipples. “I love them. So much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey bites her lip. What a dork.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. They’re so pretty. Look. Small enough I can cup them in my hands. Perfect.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben massages them some more, squeezing gently. Seemingly content in just getting to hold her like this. Rey rubs her legs together, loving his sweet caresses but also desperate for more. She’s getting worked up, and by the adoring look on his face it seems like Ben has noticed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your nipples pebbled under my touch,” he breathes. “That’s so fucking hot. You’re so fucking hot. I can’t believe you’re letting me touch you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey squirms, leaning over to kiss him again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Believe it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben shudders. He closes his eyes as Rey nestles up against him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’m ready to...you know,” she whispers against his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes a couple seconds for Ben to answer.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey. I just need you to know that I’ve never….you’re the only…” He turns his head to the side as a faint blush appears on his cheeks. “I’ve never done this before.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey softens. It’s surprising, but also extremely sweet. He wants to have his first time with her. She leans down to kiss both of his cheeks before meeting his lips again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll show you how.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is actually ideal. Ben might have crushed her if he were on top their first time. Not that that’s not something Rey wants, because it <em> is</em>, she can’t tell you how many nights she’s gotten off to fantasies of Ben Solo plowing her into the ground, but perhaps that’s an activity for a different day.       </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’ll work their way up to it, Rey decides, as she finally straddles him properly.   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She rubs up against his cock, feeling the hard length pulse and throb. Fuck. He’s big. Huge. She’s desperate for him to be inside her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mmm. It feels like you’re ready too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looks up at Rey like she’s an angel. He nods, head resting against his pillow and hands climbing up to grab her hips. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”      </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey can’t help smiling at his words. She bends down to kiss him again, chaste and quick, before she lines herself up against him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn’t waste any time in sinking down, and <em> fuck, </em>it’s a tight fit. He’s long and thick. She couldn’t have taken more than a couple inches but she’s already beyond full. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Holy shit, Ben.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He panics, grips her hips even tighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey just laughs drowsily, sinks down a little bit more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing. You’re just...so big. Much bigger than anyone I’ve ever had.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can’t say that. I’m gonna...oh my god. I want to make this last.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben pants, gripping Rey’s hips so tightly she knows he’ll leave bruises. Rey hums, pushing down and taking him even deeper. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m almost there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She angles her hips just so and suddenly he’s all the way inside of her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They both gasp, stilling. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay?” Rey asks after a couple seconds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben marvels up at her, reverential in the way he traces his fingers across her stomach. “Okay doesn’t cover it in the slightest,” he beams.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey smiles down at him, reveling in the feeling of him fully inside of her. He is...a lot. It’s not painful, thankfully. That is a miracle in and of itself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead, Rey just feels full. Whole. Like she’s found what she’s been missing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She takes a few shaky breaths, rolling her hips ever so slightly. Just testing. Ben shuts his eyes in pleasure. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my god.”         </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey has never heard his voice this low. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You feel<em>—oh. </em> Rey. You feel so good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sounds close to tears. Rey reaches out for his hands, threading his fingers through her own. She picks up the pace, lifting her hips up and down and beginning to develop a rhythm. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben’s making appreciative noises, so vocal as she rides him. He’s beautiful like this, absolutely broken by the weight of what they are doing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It weighs heavy on her as well. She feels close to cracking all the way open, so exposed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything has changed forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Normally that would terrify her. But as she meets Ben’s steady gaze, all Rey feels is warm. Sated. Happy.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s not terrified at all. No. For once, she’s hopeful. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rey?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She directs her attention back to Ben. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mhm?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can we try something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course. What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why don’t you<em>—oof</em>,” he stutters as she rolls her hips again. “Why don’t you lay on top of me? I want to….I want to feel you everywhere.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She clenches around him then, in love with the way he’s looking at her. It makes her feel wanted in a way nothing else has before. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” she breathes, carefully lowering herself to rest her stomach against his. “Like—like this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moans, letting go of her hands in order to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her even closer into his body.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes. Perfect. <em>Oh.</em>” He groans, lifting his hips and helping her increase their pace. “Want you to come on my cock. You think you can do that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey moans at his words, burying her face in his neck and sucking at the skin there. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mhm,” she mumbles, so blissed out, hips stuttering. “I can. I can do it.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good. Such a good girl, so good for me.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben moves one of his hands away from her waist and brings it down between their bodies to play with her clit. He rubs in tight circles, his giant fingers making her kick her legs. Fuck. It feels incredible. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chuckles. “You like that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All Rey can do is nod as she wraps her arms around him and digs her fingernails into his back. His hips stutter, and Rey knows that he’s close. She is too. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Almost there,” he grunts, cursing a bit more under his breath as he pushes Rey impossibly closer to him and thrusts up into her at a threatening pace. “I’m...I’m gonna...oh my <em> god.” </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey presses a kiss to Ben’s chest as she feels him come inside her. His cock twitches, and then there’s a rush of heat that absolutely fills her to the brim. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stills his hips a little as he rides out his pleasure, but he doesn’t stop rubbing her clit. No, instead he rubs faster, desperate to get Rey off too. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He succeeds. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She arches her back, gasping as her own orgasm sweeps over her. It’s <em> heaven. </em> She moans, clenching so tightly around Ben’s cock he actually screams. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>God, she had no idea this is where her night would lead. But thankfully it did. She nestles into Ben’s embrace, not ready for this to be over anytime soon. Not ready for him to pull out just yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He kisses her forehead, nudging her lovingly with his nose. Rey takes the hint, leaning up to give him a proper kiss. She giggles as she presses her lips against his. Ben holds her there, and for many moments they just lay together, connected and kissing passionately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s quiet. The only sound is that of their lips moving. Rey smells the vanilla candle burning, and feels just about as sweet and sugary as it smells. Everything is heavenly. Perfect.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That is, until there’s a knock at the door. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stills. Rey falls against him, heart beating out of her chest. Oh my god. Were they too loud? Are they gonna get in trouble?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben just about growls at the door. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who is it?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pizza delivery,” the voice deadpans. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh. Right. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben ordered pizza. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>If the look on his face is evident of anything, he’s never regretted a decision more. But Rey’s delighted. Ben remembered she likes pineapple on her pizza. Ben likes her. <em> Ben.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She kisses him on the cheek before sliding up and off of him. He whines as she gets up, making grabby hands and attempting to pull her back down with him.    </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey laughs, waddling off the bed and looking for something to throw on. An oversized black hoodie hangs over the back of his desk chair. Perfect. She slips it over her head and looks at herself in his full-length mirror. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The hoodie fits like a dress. Rey smiles, feeling Ben’s come drip down her thighs as she crosses the room and answers the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pizza guy blinks at her, noticeably trying not to look at her legs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey. I’ve got one large pineapple pizza with extra cheese, some cheesy bread with marinara dipping sauce, and an order of cinnamon twists?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey smiles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She grabs the boxes from him and he clears his throat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh, no problem. Have a nice day.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I will.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey shuts the door with her hip, letting it close with a slam. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She holds the boxes up in one hand like a waitress, walking back over to the bed. Ben’s staring up at her with adoration in his eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Special delivery,” she says, all sultry-like. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Get back over here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she does. They cuddle together, eating their pizza and pressing sweet kisses to each other’s lips between bites. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I feel like I’m in a dream,” Ben sighs, as he feeds Rey a cinnamon twist. “I don’t ever want to wake up.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She coos, licking the cinnamon sugar off of his fingers before pressing sweet kisses to them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know what you mean.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sets her slice of pizza back down in the box and turns her body to face his. “But it’s real. All of this is real. We’re here. Together. Eating pizza in your bed. Fresh off of fucking each other.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. I guess we are.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben kisses her again, turning desperate against her lips. “Please tell me this isn’t a one time thing,” he breathes when they part. “I want you, Rey. All of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She leans her forehead against his. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, you’ve got me Ben Solo.” She kisses him again, soft and sweet, before meeting his eyes. “You have all of me.” </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>     </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey finishes getting ready, slinging her backpack over her shoulders before heading down to meet Ben outside her residence hall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s been a week since their study date. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That is, it’s been a week since they had sex for the first time. A week since they officially started dating. A week since the best day of Rey’s life. (So far, at least. Though she has a feeling this will rank highly on her list forever.)  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She rushes out the front doors and sighs as she takes in the sight of Ben. He’s leaning against a tree, looking hot as ever. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He winks when he sees her, waving with his free hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His other hand holds a large cold brew topped with an exorbitant amount of salted caramel cold foam. She smiles as she notices the sticky note on the drink’s lid. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi you,” he says as she approaches. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi love,” she beams, leaning up on her tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey accepts the drink he holds out to her, shyly looking down to read the note he’s written in his annoyingly perfect script. It’s longer than most of the others, and says:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> You’re the greatest dream I’ve ever had.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I wake up, and still, somehow, you are real. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Still, somehow, you are mine.  </em>
</p>
<p><em> How did I get so lucky? </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey nearly drops her coffee.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Nearly. </em> What? Is it the sweetest thing she’s ever read, <em> yes. </em> Does she love Ben with everything in her heart? <em> Of course. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But there’s no way she’s gonna waste even a drop of her precious salted caramel cold foam. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey simply blinks back tears and meets his eyes again, leaning up to give him the kiss of a lifetime. It lasts ages. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow they extract themselves from each other long enough to start walking over to the science building together, hand in hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey’s sipping her cold brew when she thinks of something. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Ben?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You ever end up studying for the test?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stops, looks down at her, and laughs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nope. My planned study session went a little haywire.” He smiles cheekily. “I actually wound up with a girlfriend instead.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey blushes. She’ll never get tired of him referring to her as his girlfriend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, well that’s too bad. At least you got something out of it though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His smile turns more serious. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t just get something.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey squeezes his hand a little tighter, and he does the same, leaning down to brush a fleeting kiss against her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I got everything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic is dedicated to the lovely JediBen! She enabled my short little prompt idea for this fic and also helped me with all the chemistry/science lingo. LOVE YOU, THANK YOU!!!!</p>
<p>Hi my loves, thank you so much for reading!!! 💕 If you liked this, make sure to let me know ❤️ hope you all are doing well. Stay safe and wash your hands!  </p>
<p> <br/>You can find me on <a href="https://reylonly.tumblr.com/">Tumblr!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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